special dedication

this post is a special dedication to cl. you have no idea what she's meant for me in the past few months. i think she has no idea as well of how important she has been. =)

in a way, this duck holds special bonds between us. and everytime i look at it, it makes me smile. no matter how gloomy the day has been for me.

this post is for you, my love.

i love you.

not meant to be...

i'm talking about the celine dion taking chances world tour 2008. just not meant to be. disappointing but true. i've mentioned in previous post that i'm scheduled to be in abu dhabi by the 13th of april right? so initially when i heard that celine dion's gonna be performing in malaysia on the 8th of april, i was ecstatic! i bought the tickets and i've had it all planned out.

then came the news. it's postponed. and of all the dates - 13th of april. talk about unlucky number. i guess that's what you call fate. on the bright side, i saved myself almost 1000 bucks. damn. this silver lining does not shine at all.

third time's a charm

i'm scheduled to go for school on the 13th of april in abu dhabi. and yes, this is the third time i've been scheduled for the same school. the first two times were cancelled for unfortunate reasons. and the second cancellation left me so deep in the gutters that i was almost drowned by it.

right now, the only way for me to get past whatever i'm feeling right now, is to get through school. well, that's what i think anyway. get through it, get it out of the way. i've been stagnant at this stage for way too long, and it's gotta end.

this is not positive thinking, mind you. this is aggressiveness that is bordering on desperation. get through school. that's my goal. that's my light at the end of the tunnel. for now.

this picture that i took while on duty in oman seems to suit my feelings very well in this moment. a new day, a new start.

emotions

what makes us sad?

is it happiness? if we do not know the meaning of happiness, how will we be able to define sadness?

how about disappointment?

without any expectations, is there a way for us to still be disappointed? aren't we always disappointed when something does not match our expectations?

at the same time, when expectations are actually met or in the rare cases exceeded, aren't we filled with joy, relief and a sense of accomplishment?

but how long does that last before we set ourselves another set of goals, a higher level of expectation? and how long does it take before we expect too much of our own abilities? before we fall at our very own expectations?

plenty of questions and i've got plenty more where that came from. all questions, no answers. and i've stopped looking.

the core of humanity

they say humans are basically good with the potential for evil.

i say humans thrive on self-pity and anger and hatred and revenge.

how does that add up?

humans are humans. no more, no less.

miniature collection

it was unintentional but once it got started, i couldn't stop... =)

my first bottle of miniature wine was "hardys nottage hill - cabernet sauvignon" - a gift from jenny on xmas of 2001 if my memory serves me right...

meanwhile for the miniature liquor, it was during a trip to langkawi (around 2006, i guess) with a few of my uni mates...

right now, my miniature wine collection includes:

Fortant (France)
- Sauvignon Blanc 2002
- Merlot 2004
- Chardonnay 2004
- Cabernet Sauvignon 2003

Just (France)
- Chardonnay
- Sauvignon Blanc

Jindalee (Australia)
- Shiraz 2007

Redvale – Rivergum (South Eastern Australia)
- Chardonnay Colombard 2002
- Shiraz Cabernet 2002

Hardys – Nottage Hill (South Australia)
- Chardonnay 2006
- Cabernet Shiraz 2001

Carmen (Chile)
- Cabernet Sauvignon 2005
- Chardonnay 2006

Sunrise (Chile)
- Chardonnay 2003

Porta (Chile)
- Merlot 2003

Carlo Rossi (US)
- California Red
- California White

Blue Nun (Germany)
- Gold Edition
- Qualitatswain 2003
- Merlot 2003

Mateus (Portugal)
- Rose

187 by Paul Sapin (Collection Series)

Copper’s Bay (New Zealand)
- Sauvignon Blanc

River Bay (South Africa)
- Ruby Cabernet

Lizard (Australia)
- Shiraz Cabernet

Chilean (Chile)
- Cabernet Merlot

while the miniature liquor collection has:

Absolut Vodka
Absolut Apeach
Absolut Ruby Red
Absolut Pears
Absolut Mandrin
Absolut Raspberri
Absolut Kurant
Absolut Vanilla
Absolut Citron

Remy Martin VSOP
Otard VSOP

Bombay Sapphire Dry Gin

Bacchus Shot
- Cowboy
- Cowgirl

- my proud collection of miniature wine and liquor-

it's kinda tough getting those miniature wine as we have limited choices here in malaysia. and they dun really sell miniature wine in duty free shops. so i just have to be patient and wait. i would like to get more of those series like the "187 by paul sapin"...

in the meantime, i would be on the look out for more exotic french series...

- 187 by paul sapin -

and if getting miniature wine is tough, miniature liquor is almost impossible here in malaysia. so far, all my miniature liquors have come from duty free islands - langkawi and labuan. i've never seen them anywhere else!

the collection of the absolut series is pretty much completed (i actually have 9 bottles although there's only 8 in the pic above, the 9th bottle - absolut pears, was in hiding at the time the pic was taken). although my collection started out with only wine but these little juniors are just so cute i couldn't resist the temptation... =)

my next target would be the more classic liquors...

- one big happy 'absolut' family-

as you can obviously see from the pictures, i have a few bottles of liquor at the back too. i'm planning to have the complete johnnie walker series - red label, green label, black label, gold label and blue label. i once saw this collectible series where they have all 5 bottles in a nice wooden box but it is so darn bloody expensive! and that was in between the full sized liquor and a miniature - not too big, not too small... which is too bad, coz if it were a tiny bit smaller, i would have bought it...

in the meantime, i should start reading up about wine and stuff. i dun wanna be collecting miniatures blindly and not know a single thing about my collection. that would seem a tad bit silly on my part...

ok then, a simple post that's suppose to double up as an inventory for me has become really, really lenghty. i'll just stop here for now. more updates when my collection has any new member(s)...

*hint hint* - a couple of bottles of miniature wine/ liquor would make a really good present for me on any occasion =)

brace yourselves…

dear malaysians, the title says it all. at the time of posting, change seems to be on the horizon. as the result of the election is being announced, shocking news came one after another - several strong, “sure-win” candidates lost their seats by extreme majorities. i do hope that malaysia as a nation proves to be a matured democratic country to embrace this change and to take all the unexpected result as the voice of its people saying that something is wrong with the way the country is run right now…

with that said, i am pleased that the ruling party was given a run this time around instead of the usual stroll in the park for them. with louder opposition voices in the parliament, it does seem that the people of all races will be better protected…

btw, i am surprised that so many of my friends assumed that i would not vote. i would like to say that, just because i do not voice out my opinion or show much interest, does not mean that i do not have an opinion in the first place. and the scanned ticket below is proof enough that i performed my duties and responsibilities as a proud citizen of this nation… =)

new beginning

it's belated. i know. third month of the year and i'm talking about a new beginning.

anyway, it's something that i needed. i need a fresh start. for the past couple of months, i've been down in the dumps. depression seems too serious a word but i'm not too far off, i'm sure.

having this injury, forcing this break on me is worse than i ever expected it to be. at first, i thought i could treat it as a long break from work. i thought it's an opportunity for me to sit back and relax. how very, very wrong.

all this injury has done for me is impair my sight and shatter my confidence to pieces.

you see, i was in a hurry. all through life, i've always been in a hurry to get somewhere, to be someone. now this episode has put a two month break in my career just when i thought it was actually going somewhere. and it sucks. the worse part? i don't know how long will this last.

anyway, that’s not what this blog is all about. this blog is about a new beginning right? so i’m gonna try and forget all of this disappointment, and try to make things work for me… perhaps, it’s too early to actually claim a new beginning, but i’ll give it a try.

ps: i found out something surprising in this period of time. when i started this blog, i can only write when i’m depressed, frustrated, sad (you get the idea, right?)… my whole blog has a negative aura because of that. but with this incident, i just found out that i could not write in that mood anymore – my blog has taken a positive turn!

i shall end this post with a picture of the kauthar dessert in oman. despite the injury, it was a great experience to be there.

suicide

the blade ran swiftly through my wrists
a red thread blossomed into a stream
as it flowed, the cross washed away
with eyes closed, i drift with a smile

2008 - year of revolution

no, there wasn't a spelling mistake in the title. no, you will not be reading another list of new year resolutions from me - if it is, then it'll be kinda late dun you think?

this is part of the thought that has been messing up my mind lately. over the past years, i've always had ideas of who i am and who i wanna be. ideas of my principal which i've held onto. ideas, ideas and more ideas. so far, all these ideas start with something like - i will not... i won't... i never...

passive. it's always something that i will not do and i'll have the reason why i choose not to do it. i've decided that this year, it's gotta change. i've gotta take some action to change the man in the mirror. no more ideals. no more playing on the safe side.

i need to be more passionate about life. and not just my life. i need to be more passionate about the world revolving around me. about the ppl around me.

it's the year for change and action.

blank message...

there's so many things going through my mind right now - where i am, where i've been, what i want to do, what i should have done...

i wanted to write everything out here but my mind is in such a mess i can't seem to construct anything at all. so i'm just leaving a blank msg and hope - hope that someone could see through this msg to help me out. get me out of this state of mind. i need passion in my life again.

2007 in a glance...

i dun think there was a year that defined my life more than 2007. here's a glance of the highs and lows which probably defined the direction of my future...

started the year with mixed feelings - final semester, final year project going well, good job prospects on the horizon, unfortunately, family not doing too well...

on the family front, things were mostly out of my control. all i could do was to be there for my parents when they needed me the most. my father's health condition, fortunately, was getting better... right now, that's the only thing that matters...

on things that i could control... ended my degree with a bang - final semester with gpa of 4.0, top student with cgpa of 3.93 (not bragging, really), final year project completed on time (kinda rushed though), plenty of job offers coming in... the most pleasing one i have to say is the interview that i had with alex yoong despite the fact that it was not a fruitful interview, sadly...

on things unexpected... i had my 30 minutes of fame on 8tv in a program called dare to dream. had cameras around me for about 3 days and made me feel like a tv star, hahaha... i guess that's what you call a once in a lifetime experience... felt good...

on things about love... i just fancy starting each paragraph like that although it doesn't really make sense... i asked cl to move in with me... although our relationship wasn't quite mature for that, but it turned out to be a great move... she bonded really well with my parents, especially my mum which was more than i could ask for...

on things about fun... i left malaysia for the first time on a trip to bali with cl... it was a 4 day 3 night vacation where we stayed at hard rock hotel along kuta beach... it's our first real vacation together and it was loads of fun! we had the trip after we handed in our thesis so we were able to spend our time without any burden on our minds... the whole trip was especially relaxing given the pressure that we've had throughout the final sem where we barely had time to breathe...

on things about career... i finally decided on which offer to take (actually that final decision came only a few days ago, but still)... initially i wasn't convinced about my decision but cl stood by me all the time... and know, with everything that has been happening, the decision seems to be the only logic decision left... and because of my job, i moved out of my home for 23 years and travelled east to a small town called kemaman... went to brunei for 5 days for a lab introduction training before going of on the greatest adventure yet - oman... stayed in kauther, oman for 2 months... it's the first time ever that i left malaysia for that long... had a great experience, met wonderful ppl...

on things about fate... my eye injury... this injury decided a lot of things for me really... it's unfortunate, but it brought me to a stop... i was rushing all the while to get somewhere... now i guess, this injury gives me the opportunity to slow things down... to look carefully and to think hard about where my life is taking me next...

on things about faith... the prayer that got me through the oman adventure (i said it's an adventure, but i never said it was easy!) - dear god, please give me the strength and courage to face tomorrow, the patience and the humility to learn, the foresight and determination to overcome obstacles... and most of all, please lead me home safely...

on things about the future... i do not know what lays ahead of me, but i do know that i have to face it no matter what... there is no way that i will turn my back and run from my future - good or bad... i just have to swallow my fears, hold back my nerves and take one step at a time... it'll be tough, that is for sure... but either way, i have to move forward - i have no choice...

ps: i have seen too many hollywood movies where the character gets injured/ knocked down/ faces a huge obstacle and they put together a 15 minute clip of that particular character working against all odds with a heroic soundtrack to overcome whatever he or she is against... sadly, reality ain't that easy and smooth... that 15 minutes ain't 15 minutes at all and there is a huge possibility the ending ain't all sweet and happy...

-Happy New Year! Let's face 2008 with a smile on our face!-

**edit - sorry, this just slipped my mind**

on things about friends... pretty much everyone i know started on their own journey to chase their dream career - the beginning of a new chapter... jason finally found out what the big deal was about having a gf, hehehe... jacky has graduated and is one step away from becoming a practicing lawyer... and kam... well, my year is nothing compared to his - studies, career, family... i guess the only thing i can say is that everything happens for a reason and i take my hat off for you bro for staying so strong and sane throughout it all... well, 2008 is a brand new start to us all huh?

1930 hours, 14th december 2007

a moment that changed my life to a degree that i still could not comprehend. i do not know how to start this blog, but i'll just give it my best shot...

i was working in kauther, oman when this incident occured. i'll not go into details of what we were doing but during the operation, i had some caustic soda splashed into my left eye. right now, my vision is blurred due to the damage of the alkali burn on my cornea. the doctors said that the healing is progressing positively but none of them could say how much my vision could improve. the fact that i could still see was good enough news for them.

the good news is, the doctors think i have a great chance to recover. the bad news, my life has to be on a halt. i was supposed to attend school on the 20th of January which is about three weeks away. however, there is major doubt that i could actually recover in time for that.

i really can't find the words to describe my feelings right now...

i'll keep this post short since i'm not supposed to spend to long in front of my pc. but before i go, i would really like to thank everyone of the frac04 crew of oman for taking care of me after the accident. i know this incident brought around a lot of trouble to the crew, i'm truly sorry for that. oman has generally been a good experience for me. great opportunity, wonderful people. it's just too bad that it has to end like this.

anyway, i'm home right now and i've never been so glad to be in the comfort of my own room at night...

early birthday present!

i wasn't expecting to be around for my birthday. i'm still not expecting to be around for my birthday now.

so, my mum bought me an early birthday gift! it's the complete collection of calvin and hobbes!!!

happy happy... =)

my face is something like calvin's in the picture above when i opened the wrapping and saw what's inside...

happy happy... =)

from brunei with love...

it's been a while since i last wrote here. between then and now, life's been a roller coaster ride... one moment, i'm on top of the world and everything is going my way, the next, i'm down in the gutter... but it's been a good experience for me... i'm still trying to convince myself that... =)

anyway, the picture above is me at the door of the slb base in kemaman (warehouse 29). that's where i work!

i took the picture the day before i was supposed to go to abu dhabi for school (or so i thought). anyway, a couple of days and some complications later - school was cancelled and i'm back in kemaman. i dun wanna go through the whole thing here as i might end up offending someone i'm not supposed to... hahaha... it's been a bad dream all along...

anyway, that's all in the past now. i'm over that now (also still trying to convince myself of this)... =)

as you can see in the picture, i'm in brunei! i'll be staying at the swiss hotel apartment from the 28th of october till the 2nd of november. i'm here for some lab training purpose and so far so good...

brunei's pretty similar to malaysia. can't really compare it to kl and it might be unfair as well since i'm in kuala belait which is about 90 minutes away from the city centre. so far, it has more similarities to kemaman instead. except for the currency which makes everything so, so expensive.

so...

i know my posts these couple of times dun really have any flow in it and it doesn't really sound like me but blame it on the job. my minds been crazy and everywhere.

right now, the plan for me from brunei is to get back to kl before going to oman for about 10 weeks for HIT (high intensity training) and then from there, i'll probably get back to kl for about a week or so before leaving to abu dhabi again for school.

seems pretty hectic huh?

anyway, that's the plan right now. it might go on smoothly or it might change at any moment now.

i dunno. my emotions been up and down. excited. nervous. scared. hopeful. everything.

i'm just looking forward to tomorrow and taking each day as it comes. that's a good philosophy which i'm never able to stick to.

talk to me about tomorrow, i'll start thinking about next month. talk to me about next month, i'll start thinking about next year.

yup. that's just me.

embracing the future

at times i do worry that i've forgotten the real reason i came here. the real reason i've chosen slb to start my career.

i've paid so much attention on the small issues that i've forgotten that i'm here to be an engineer. i'm here to build myself, my personality to be someone stronger, wiser...

i've forgotten that i'm here to learn... to be a student and to open my eyes to see the world around me. i know this sounds cliche, but in the naivety upon graduation, these were my ideals...

i've paid so much attention on the fact that i'm away from home, away from my family, my loved ones... paid so much attention on the future and planning for the future that all this has distracted me and blinded me from the present...

maybe in years to come, i'll look back at this ideal mindset of mine and think of it all as pure crap. but for now, i need these to be my goal... i need these to have something to look forward to...

the light at the end of the tunnel if you like...

dun get me wrong - i miss my home. i miss my family like hell. but i can't go on living like this, holding myself back. i'll be home one day. it's just a matter of time.

bistro cottage

i'm blogging from this bistro cottage that provides free wireless connection somewhere along the beach of cherating. it's the second time i'm here now, so this time i'm here fully equipped with my laptop, webcam, earphone and mic. but... there's no one online... =(

yeah... here i am, waiting (after dinner of course) but there's just no one online or free to chat with me... damn... and right now, there's just approximately 10 mins left on my laptop battery... so i've decided to use this window of opportunity to update my blog...

well, a little bit about this place - it belongs to this malaysian-swiss guy by the name of michael isaac abu bakar. well, he's made this place a cozy little motel. it looks comfortable enough although the location is probably not the best for a tourist... the closest beach is about 10 mins walk away... i've got a snap shot of this place, but i'll upload it later coz the warning sign for me to plug this laptop to power has been out for a couple of minutes now...

so i guess that's my cue to say goodbye and goodnight for today...

ps: work has been a rollercoaster ride for me so far. i'll talk about that later.

time flies

yes it does.

time literally zooms past us, leaving us in its wake. before i even realize what's going on, before i even find my footing in my job, it's already been two months since i first started. and although i must admit it has been a tough beginning for me, but i think i'm getting used to it now. more importantly? i'm looking forward for more... =)

anyway, if everything goes according to schedule, i'll be heading to abu dhabi on the 15th of october for school! yup... i still need to go to school... and before anyone asks me - abu dhabi is 90 minutes drive away from dubai... if you still don't know where that is, find the nearest wall and run into it yeah? hahaha... joking... go look up in the atlas if it helps... =)

anyway, i gotta get back to work now... till next time... have a nice day... =)

analogy

today, i heard a really good analogy used by this guy who's been working in slb for nearly 30 years now... interestingly, i've never heard of anyone describe life like this before... i guess you see life how you wanna see it and you describe it from the way your life has shaped you... and from his stories, it's been tough on him...

"life's like riding a bicycle - too maintain your balance, you just have to keep riding..."

(everyone else who uses "bicycle" would go along the line of once you've learnt how to ride it, you'll never forget it or something like that...)

well , he was talking about how there are just challenges and obstacles out there in the world waiting for us... and how we should face each challenge and never try to run or hide... as soon as we start running, we'll be running for life...

i like his take on life. it might sound a little bit too depressing and it might take the hope out of you, but life's like that. you've gotta take whatever comes your way and you've gotta face life with spirit and zest lest you be blown away like a speck of dust.

field engineer

i'm supposed to add a "trainee" word behind the title, but it'll just make it look so uncool... =)

anyway, that's what i am right now - still a trainee although i do hope to get past that stage really soon... that's if i can get through all the studies and tasks and exams and school and labs and etc etc etc... yup, tons of things to complete so this is gonna be a really short entry... more of a picture blog really... so enjoy...

in the picture below, that's me working on a triplex pump in the yard of the slb kemaman base.

this guy below is my housemate and well, mischief companion - somtochukwu mezie-okoye. hahaha... he's from nigeria and basically we joined slb at the same time so, yeah, we're going through the good and bad times together... =)

and this hardworking girl here is carelia rojas from venezuela. she's actually based in vietnam but sent to kemaman for hit (high intensity training)... we still couldn't figure out why she's in kemaman for that but we're not complaining... the more the merrier right?

i actually left out another trainee here but that's coz all these photo's are taken with somto's new camera and i couldn't find any picture of him... so i'll just introduce him yeah? well, there's another housemate from china by the name of xin yu. no no... it should be dr xin yu - phd holder... i'll try to upload a pic of him later...

yup... that's it... these guys and gal actually made it much more fun to be working here... at least there's someone else going through the same thing with me. that makes me feel so much better... not as lost as i would have been if i were alone, you know?

that's it for now... back to my studies... =(

in the mood for jazz

no, i'm not an expert or anywhere close to being an expert in this genre... in fact, i'm not even an amateur...

about two days ago, i stumbled across some songs by diana krall and it sounded absolutely perfect at that moment... so i've been listening to more songs from her, reading up a little bit and i found out that although she's singing jazz but she'd put an element of rnb or something like that to spice it up...

so i went in search for pure jazz and out comes the name of nat 'king' cole everywhere i looked... and his voice was just sublime...

now... i know i can't judge jazz based on a legend and an artist who mixes things up... but from what minimal amount of jazz i've heard so far, it's pretty cool...

so that got my interest up (but considering how bored i've been, this might lead up to nothing at all) and i'm just interested to get to know jazz a little bit more intimately...

can anyone suggest a good jazz cd for a beginner? i would appreciate that a lot... =)

explanation of "confused"

although i rarely explain my writings/ articles/ poems - whatever you want to call it... but i felt this one warranted an explanation. why?

1) i do not think it is a good piece (in technical terms).

2) i think the flow will confuse many. in fact, there is no flow.

3) i want to explain the title.

basically, right now, i am the one confused. am i happy? am i sad? am i depressed? am i ecstatic?

i have no idea. i am at a junction where i do not see the end of any tunnel that i look into. i do not know my goals. i do not know what i want, if i want anything.

i just have no idea.

i know it seems as though my feelings and "confused" have no connection whatsoever in the words or the reasoning... but i guess you'll just have to look deeper...

confused

confident, bold, smart,
arrogant, egoistic, foolish,
a thine line separates these,
a line almost impossible to see,

foreseeing a new path to create,
aggressive - the only way forward,
not wanting to stay in the shadows,
shining, blinding out the rest,

the wheel of possibilities in hand,
destination in sight over the horizon,
blinded by the voice of the world,
blocked out the reason of the heart,

will you know what's in store?
before you've learnt the past?
the present in not written
yet you rush forward into time

too naive for the world
too raw to see the truth
such arrogance for a virgin
so much dreams, so much hopes

you want to make a difference
you want to force an impact
you want to create a memory
you want to change history

as sure as i was at the top
i am no where to be seen
as sure as i was the best
i am no where to be heard

the time will come for each one of us
to look back and cherish or regret
our actions of the present and future
the choice is in our hands, no one else

thoughts from the office...

how far can the truth be from the imagination? bloody far - heaven and earth... hahaha...

that might sound like an exaggeration and it probably is... but i can't deny that line from crossing my mind...

well, before i graduated and before i came to know about slb, my idea of the working life is going to work, coming home to our own paradise at home and spending some time on things that we enjoy (something, anything not related to work)... as for me, that something is many things in which this blog is one of it...

i enjoy writing. truly. i enjoy the moment when i feel something and i am able to put that feeling down in words and then multiply with flowery words (meaning - exaggeration)... and besides that, there's just so many things which i enjoy spending some time on but i'm not going to go into too much details about that here... maybe another time, another day...

with that said, i do not intend to go to work just because i have to as well. i do intend to go to work, build a career and to make something out of myself. i will not be a mindless zombie following the crowd and the path that has been cleared in front of me...

but i've always figured that there has got to be a balance, get it?

so now. back to reality.

here i am in the office at 730pm blogging. well, i know... at least i can still blog right?

don't get me wrong. i'm not complaining. i did accept this job knowing what the conditions would be right? it's just that after more than 1 month of working 7 days a week from 8 to 530/700/900 (pick one)... well, something feels off, you understand?

but things will get better (i hope). i mean right now, i'm still not capable of handling any jobs... i'm still studying most of the time... still trying to cram everything i can into this very little head of mine... but the time will come when i will be allowed to handle more responsibilities... the time will come when going to work will actually be fun... and most importantly, the time will come when i can take my days off...

oh, i just can't wait...

i'll end this post with a fitting pic of me flying a kite. the "balance", you know? hahaha...

the pic below is taken by cl. location - cherating beach (impiana hotel). beautiful sky eh? truly relaxing to be there... especially with someone you love... =)

working life...

right now, it's been a little more than a month since i started my career here in kemaman. i've gotta say that it's a pretty valuable experience and i've definitely gotta admit it's tough... really tough...

anyway, since i got here, things are starting to look brighter with each passing week... and this is so much so after i came back from my convo last week... the reason - my white ferrari!

yeah! i really gotta thank cl for convincing me to drive back here after my convo... you can't believe how much a car can change things around... the nights just got brighter... =)

so how's work? well, the one thing i really appreciate is the culturally diverse workforce. to put it clearer, i just came back from dinner today and there were 5 of us and each one from a different country - malaysia, brunei, china, venezuela and nigeria. i doubt there will be many company out there capable of creating this kind of workforce.

but personally for me right now, it's still not at the point where the job is exciting yet... probably coz i'm still pretty much studying all the time and i haven't got much opportunity in getting my hands dirty... =)

well, i hope that will all change in the next couple of days coz i'm finally going offshore for the first time! that'll definitely be a moment to savour... since it's my first time... i'm really excited and nervous as well... i don't know how to prepare for it, what to bring and i dun know what to expect of the situation out there... actually, i dun even know how long i'll be there... i've been told it'll be between a week to a month... plus the helicopter ride out to the rig... oh yeah, i'll be working on a rig instead of a platform...

ps: i'm not sure if there's connection on the platform but if there is, i'll definitely try to keep a record of my days there...

...

i suddenly ran out of things to say... actually i've got a couple more things to say but i can't seem to form any sentence... so i think i'll just end my post here and go to bed for tonight... =)

good night everyone...

sweet dreams...

great week...

it's been a great week for me really...

first my convocation which had the bonus of receiving the "anugerah naib canselor" which is basically the best student award... it's been a while since i actually felt so proud of my achievements when i walked the stage to receive the award...

i would like to take this opportunity to thank my parents for putting up with my ocassional weird behaviours, all the lecturers who taught me and left their mark in me, to all my frens (uni and highschool) for being my frens... although most of you will not be reading this, but seriously, all that you did for me will not be forgotten... *this is starting to sound like an acceptance speech so i'll stop here...*

hahaha...

and the next day i'm in the papers (as shown in the previous post)... but i have to say that many of the facts printed were... well.. modified... hahaha... i dun really speak four languages unless you count all the different chinese dialects which will add up to more than four... as for tamil, well... yeah i know a few words... but that's it... now i know how the celebs feel when their words get distorted... hahaha...

and then there was that 8tv show last night... it does make me blush to see myself on tv... and i didn't know i sound so weird and i didn't realize i looked like that when i'm talking! hahaha... but it was good... =)

thanks kam for saying some nice things about me... =)

well, that wraps up the week for me... it's just too bad that i'm all the way here in kemaman and i didn't really have the time to celebrate all this... the weekend that i was back in kl was just too hectic with all the convocation preparations and soon after that i had to come back to work (that's the reason for the simple post previously...)

anyway, i've gotta go now... i'm stealing some time off work to update my blog actually... i do wish i can update my blog with more consistency but it's tough as i do not have connection outside the office these days... so i'll just try my best yeah?

i've only got one convocation picture which was sent to me by choy yee yest... so here it is - chuu liu, jiaxin and myself...

going out with a bang!

finally, after 4 long years, the day of my convocation has come and gone... more updates to follow... =)

old habits die hard...

it seems my blog is periodically active... hahaha... when it's dead, it'll be dead for some time... but when i start blogging, there's always be a few entries to follow...

anyway, i was just looking through my post and i realized i never posted anything about my trip to bali!!!

well, i've typed 2 long posts but i never manage to post it up and till now, it's still sitting there as a "draft"... hmm... gotta do something about that... =)

first real job...

hey there...

guess what? i'm working... yup... you heard me all right...

so, i hope that explains the long break from writing anything here...

lets see... where do i begin?

well, right before i started my job, i travelled to penang a couple of times... one was for pleasure, one for family business, one for st anne's feast and one for a funeral... that's why there were no updates about my trip to penang with kam and gf...

and right now... wanna know where i am? well i forgot the exact address... but just come all the way to kemaman, terengganu and ask for house no 106, lot 144... the cab will bring you straight to my house...

so... about my job...

first and foremost... i'm a field engineer (trainee for the moment)... with schlumberger... it's funny how i've always wanted to join schlumberger and now that i'm part of it, yeah... it feels weird... i'm in well services, simulation - fracturing... i know this might sound alien to you guys, but i just wanted a record for myself...

i'll try to post a pic of me in my blue coveralls and fashionable red wings safety boots... haha... i didn't know how the conditions here would be like so i packed as light as i can and with that, i left my camera at home...

and when did i start? officially, i started on the 30th of july, but i spent one week in kl for a seminar/ induction called the ofs-1 which was held in renaissance hotel. so this is just my second week here...

so anyway, hows the job? i'm not too sure... right now, there's still a lot of learning and stuff... but i think i'm going offshore end of this month, so that'll be cool... oh yeah, speaking of offshore - i went for this offshore survival and helicopter underwater evacuation training (huet) thing and it was loads of fun! it's actually to get my passport to go offshore... so they had this training where they put you in a cockpit which is supposed to resemble a chopper and they simulate the conditions of a chopper going under water... scary at first but it's cool... =) but they also had us going through this firefighting part where they made us crawl through some rooms filled with smoke... that was bad... wasn't life threatening or anything like that... but, if you're claustrophobic - stay away!

so other than that... it's study study study... and some time spent in the yard, redressing valves, performing function tests and stuff... so, for the first 2 weeks, the job's not bad...

the thing that's hitting me the hardest right now? i miss my home... =(

seriously, i never thought it would be this bad... the first three days was horrible... although it's getting better... i think it will take quite some time for me to adjust to this new environment...

so the new environment... not too bad actually... the fact that i'm able to blog from my room is better than what i expected... hahaha... ok, honestly, it's good life... i'm staying in a bloody spacious bungalow with 5 rooms... the whole house is air conditioned, there's astro, they've hired someone to help clean the house, wash our clothes... so... it's comfortable...

the only thing that would make it perfect is - my family... =(

dun really wanna talk about it here or now...

anyway, this blog is getting a bit too long and because i never planned on writing tonight, i feel the sequence is kinda messy... so i'll just end it here... and i'll end it with a pic for you guys (my loyal, non-existing followers)... hahaha...

i've joined the simpson's family! hahaha... one of my favourite cartoons of all times but i did not manage to catch the movie in the cinema... busy, busy schedule... =(

the photo (not too clear as it was taken by an ametuer... ehem... you know who you are...) was taken a while back when i went to the curve for dinner with pui leng, yi kang, choy yee, choy yee's bf (sorry i always forget his name) and chuu liu... we had a good time that night and we watched shrek3... oh... those were the good times... =)

from penang...

just a short update from penang (tanjung bungah)...

well, had a great time with kam and sharon the past weekend... but i'll update more about that later with some pics... anyway, this is the first time i met sharon and well, i found out she's pretty great to hang out with (always cheerful but with some lame jokes which she insist is logic)... good choice kam... hahaha... just joking, no offense ok?

anyway, i'm in cl's lil bro's house (room actually) right now waiting to watch the long awaited movie - TRANSFORMERS!!! i hope it's gonna be good... =)

hmm, what else? oh yeah... i learnt some pretty shocking news... regarding family (nov the 3rd stuff)... will talk bout that later...

that's all for now...

070707

i just think it would be cool to be able to look back at this title - 070707...

if i were a little bit older, i would probably get married or something at a date like this, hahaha...

anyway, about 3 hours from now, i'll be heading up to penang with cl, kam and kam's gf (sharon)... we'll be putting up a night at the g hotel (weird name, huh?) and after that kam and sharon will head back to kl on sunday while cl will return home to alma and i'll spend about a week or so with my grandma... so i guess there won't be much blogging for about a week from now...

about the trip, we'll be travelling in my little white "ferrari" (see pic above)... hahaha... coz i do plan to do a little bit of driving once kam gets back to kl. at the moment, the list of places are langkawi (to get some miniatures wine and liquors for my collection), padang besar (might even cross into thailand) and cherating (i dun think this will happen)... so we'll just have to see how things goes...

oh yeah, just a little update about my upcoming show on national tv... hahaha... i spent a day at the petronas research centre in bangi to get some visuals and it was, well... interesting... hahaha... i mean, the whole atmosphere was relaxed but at times it just freaks me out when the camera gets really close to my face... and also, it was such a coincidence that a former sauber petronas engineer (now with bmw sauber) was there visiting some old frens... so i got the chance to meet him and he gave me this -

isn't it cool to be able to give someone a name card like this? it remains a dream for me... at least for now... =)

ok, i really got to get some sleep now for the long drive tomorrow... or maybe i should say "later"...

good night and sweet dreams...

sammi - live in genting (220607)

like i said, i was going to upload some pics from the sammi concert last week... i know it's a little bit delayed, but that's the way my blog is gonna be for a while i guess - i'm still busy painting and cleaning my house and i dun see my schedule clearing up for this blog once i start working which is at the end of this month.

ok, back to the main story. sammi cheng - i started listening to her songs in form 3 i think. that's almost 10 years ago. the album was arigatou and i got hooked the first time i heard her. well, to cut a long story short, i dun think there is any concert of any other female singer from hong kong worth attending at the moment.

honestly, i was excited when i found out that she's coming to malaysia. i thought i've missed out on watching her live since she went quiet for some time... with that, i booked the tickets the very next day only to find that it's almost sold out. so i got the best available tickets... although it cost me 130 bucks per ticket, it was well worthwhile as i found out... =)

sammi's opening act... she looked really sexy in this number... =)

i liked that blue thing dancing behind her... too bad i can't get a clear shot of it...

sammi explaining to the audience the true reason behind her disappearance for about 2 years...

this is when the show became really upbeat - too bad the audience weren't really showing any vibes. most of them were just sitting in their seats... i guess malaysians just aren't a wild crowd by nature...

she went really crazy in the middle of this - it did get the crowd going a while... but, it didn't really matter... still an entertaining show... =)

her encore performance is actually not an encore at all... it was well rehearsed and she performed an additional 2 songs... or was it 3? i can't really remember...

well, as this is only the third concert that i've been to, i can't really be rating it amongst the rest... but i dare say it's definitely worth the price... a wonderful performer with a strong voice... i wasn't disappointed... =)

with that, i will end this post with my first ever video posting... since there's a limit of 100mb, this will just be a short clip of sammi live in genting...

good looks?

i was waiting for chuu liu outside the restroom in genting today after the sammi cheng's concert (which i will upload some pictures very soon... hopefully...) when i noticed those ppl walking by... some were pretty normal, you know - your average joe/ jane... however, there were some who stood out from the crowd...

why do these ppl stand out? are they particularly good looking? or is it just their confidence which enables them to carry themselves around with more swagger?

anyway, i got around to thinking about myself. honestly, during my earlier years, i wasn't confident about my appearance at all. not to say that it bothers me, but i think i'd be the kind to blend with the background... if you get what i mean. over the years, i've learnt to be more confident... not to say that i'm vain or anything like that, but i began believing the fact that the surface appearance is not as important anymore...

perhaps it's just what i wanna believe. do i look good? i dunno, but i ain't ugly that's for sure. so i'm pretty convinced that good looks comes second after personality... which i would love to believe to be the area i'd ace in... =)

i know this entry is pretty crappy - i wanted to blog about the sammi cheng concert which was awesome! but it's 5 am and i'm pretty lazy to transfer the pics from my camera and to upload it for my blog... so that will have to wait...

well, that's all for now - good night and sweet dreams... =)

quick update...

i know i've been away for some time... well, i've actually stopped updating ever since i've officially ended my university education by handing in my thesis. to be fair, i've actually spent a lot less time in front of the computer ever since i've completed my thesis... so can't blame me for taking a break from blogging huh? anyway, here's a quick update on what i've been up to for the past couple of months or so...

as soon as my thesis was completed and handed in (300407), i've had my passport done and i flew over to bali with chuu liu for a well deserved break. at least i think it is well deserved... hahaha... that trip was from 050507 to 080507 (4 days 3 nights). pictures and an entry dedicated to bali will be up soon - i promise! but please be patient, it was a great place and i've had a wonderful time.... so there's really plenty to write... =)

so, back in kl, i actually took a small job from my uniten lecturer to produce a 3d modelling of a labyrinth seal... that took up some of my time, but it also made me richer by 200 bucks... hahaha...

what else? oh yeah... some really shocking news... on the 110507, i received a call from haza, a gal from 8tv. she's telling me that they've got this program coming up in conjunction with our national day called "dare to dream". the program is basically meant to introduce some unconventional jobs to the malaysian public. the show will feature someone already in the job and an aspiring undergraduate - some sort of a mentor/ mentee thing. and they've got this segment which introduces this ex-sauber petronas f1 engineer. so they've been calling a few universities and the head of department from uniten actually gave them my contact - thank you!

so, i went over to meet haza, talked to her (i guess she just wanted to see if i could speak fluent english and if i'm a presentable material) and she asked for a copy of my thesis and resume to be sent over to petronas. petronas wanted to hand pick the "aspiring undergraduate" as to look after their own image. so after a couple of days, haza called me and confirmed of my participation! hahaha... kinda exciting stuff since i've never been on tv... anyway, the shooting will take place on the 030707.

next, on the 260507, i attended the "a1 gp end of season party" held at the proton showroom in shah alam. it was a formal buffet dinner event, where alex yoong actually took the opportunity to thank everyone who have shown their support towards the team and also to introduce the team to those present. it's good to see that there are quite a number of malaysians involved in a team that's representing malaysia at the highest level of motorsport.

oh yeah, in between all these, i actually read 6 books - 4 dan brown (angels and demon, da vinci code, deception point, digital fortress) and 2 dean koontz (the husband, velocity)... pretty good stuff... =)

on the 120607, on invitation from vtc (the company i collaborated with for my final year project), i've attended a vehicle dynamic workshop held in iium. second time this year i've been to iium and i am still impressed with the atmosphere there. well, the workshop is basically to introduce some new simulation and optimization software and also to introduce the facilities available in iium which includes an impressive 25% scale wind tunnel. the wind tunnel costs a staggering 13 million bucks! overall, the it's an interesting workshop... and if not for the better prospects offered by the oil and gas industry, this is definitely and area of interest...

wow, this quick preview is getting pretty long winded... anyway, last update - i'm going to genting tomorrow (220607) to watch sammi cheng's concert! that would be fun... she's actually one of my favourite female artist and probably the only chinese female singer whose concert i am willing to watch... this would actually be my third concert in genting since last dec - michael bolton, boyz to men and sammi... not bad huh? =)

i actually wanted to talk about my job offers and the options i have including the pros and cons presented by these options... but i think i'll save that for another day... plus there's a couple of other stuff that i want to add but i can't quite remember it now, so i'll post as my memory recovers... =)

ps: i'm thinking of posting/ uploading my thesis in my blog. it's in pdf format. can anyone tell me how do i do that?

it's official...

well, i've been going on and on about the impending end of my undergrad life in uniten. i've had a few post to express what i hoped was an accurate account of my feelings before, during and after my "final" final exams. i've spoken about the excitement, the euphoria, the relief...
but now, at this very moment, it is official... i have handed in my thesis on the 300407 at 1500 hours and that, my friends, signals the end. yup... i've crossed the finish line and i've taken the chequered flag...

anyway, this doesn't feel too special... hahaha... what a contradiction huh?

get well soon...

to kam:

hey bro, really sorry to hear bout your dad. seeing him in the hospital today, i can't imagine how it must be like for you and your family to bear these past few days. just have faith and everything will be fine... i really can't think of anything else to say...

bro, if you need anything at anytime, just give me a call ok?

take care. and take care of your mum k?

hope your dad gets well soon...

update...

relief...

i guess that best explains my feelings right now. although i didn't have the best of finishes in uniten, but the relief i felt after the paper was overwhelming. i said i didn't have the best of finishes coz it was indeed one of the worst final papers i have ever had in uniten. the paper had 3 questions - one took me and hour to complete, one was bloody confusing and the other, i have no idea how to solve.

so, mechatronics, you've spoilt it for me.

but, no matter how the paper was, once i stepped out of the exam hall, all i could think of was the times that i've had in uniten. the good and the bad times. i still remember the nervous wreck that i was when i sat for my fist paper in this hall. and now, i'm stepping out of it for the last time.

anyway, i didn't have much time to think about how i was feeling after the paper. once i got home, i rushed to get my bags packed and before long, i was on the plane to kuantan, pahang. from there i was picked up and about 90 minutes later, i'm in kemaman, terengganu.

like i've said, i was there for an interview, a practical screening. and from what i've seen, the job is definitely a challenge. however, i do have a feeling that the true challenge will be whether i do accept the job when it is offered. i've always known that the job will be tough. i always felt that it is the kind that i would enjoy. but i do have some doubt - if i have what to takes to perform.

anyway, it's getting really late and i've gotta be up early tomorrow to continue my final year project. have some post processing to do. i know i'm jumping here and there with this post, but i'm exhausted right now. and i dun think there is much of a point in talking about the job until it's offered. so, finger's crossed...

till next time, good night and sweet dreams...

this is it...

this is it...

5 more hours to my final examination... my final paper after 4 years in uniten. i actually visualized this moment during my first semester. and now that it's finally here, it seems surreal. probably coz i'm just too tired. or maybe it's also because, it suddenly didn't seem to be such a big deal.

life goes on...

anyway, as soon as i finish my paper tomorrow, i will have to start packing as i'm flying over to kemaman, terengganu for a field assessment. basically, it's a practical screening for one of the job interviews that i've been attending. wish me luck!

that's a pretty good way to end my years as an undergraduate huh? anyway, my flight is at 1710 hours and i'll be flying back to kl the next day at 1830 hours. so it's gonna be kinda hectic for me - especially with my final year project presentation next tues (170407).

well, that's enough break for now. i need to get back to my books. i wanna end my uniten life with a bang!